I'm 23 years old, and I suffered from health anxiety for far too long. First it started with colorectal cancer fears - they went away after a clear colonoscopy. Then I had small bowel cancer fears, but it turned out that my low iron wasn't due to occult bleeding, but due to donating blood too much. Then I "had" multiple sclerosis, because I had tingling in my fingers and felt random wet spots on my skin, like it was raining inside. Of course, that didn't turn out to be true. Then I had problems with reading and as long as I worried about them, I was still misreading all the time and I was CONVINCED that I have a brain tumor.

I have learnt an enormous amount of information about many different diseases on the way.

However, since about 8 months I have been having one fear that I just can't overcome - pancreatic cancer. My symptoms are attributable to many different diseases. My doctor has done many blood tests and an abdominal ultrasound, however that's not enough for me. I wanted to get a referral for a CT/MRI but the request was denied due to lack of alarm symptoms. Today I told myself that enough is enough. It's just painful to be stuck in this limbo between "not confirmed" and "excluded". That's why I finally took the bull by the horns and signed up for a private MRI. Sure, it'll cost me 6 days of work salary, but honestly I don't care. If 6 days of work salary will finally give me a definitive answer, that will make that obnoxious fear go away, then it's worth it. I'm having the MRI right after Easter, and I'm glad that I finally decided to go for it. Just had to vent somewhere, thanks for reading