Hi all,

I am an occasional poster and have tried lately to avoid posting. I am totally in the rabbit hole because of a mark I have on my leg. I didn’t worry about it as I though it was probably a bite that stayed or a funny follicle or something but now I am obsessed with it. It is not very big, smaller than a pencil eraser and it is pink. I have done all the ABC cancer check and it does not tick any boxes. It has been there since last year or before and doesn’t appear to have grown. It is not crusty scaly or bleeding itching etc. I have looked at pictures and it does not resemble anything that is worrying. So logically, I should not worry and if I feel the need to check it out, I can go to the doc. I shouldn’t seek reassurance and yet I do. Even this is reassurance seeking I know.

But....I can’t win over my brain. I have been through a lot of stress lately and I have worried myself into a hole. I can’t get it out of my head that it is something bad. And I will die. Every time I have a HA flare it is like this (we all know this). I have been doing cbt since October and I still feel I am out of control. I stopped meds’ cos of the side effects. I am constantly searching/scanning every lump or
Pain, I have had various tests and I convince myself every time that this is bad.

How can I win this? My strategies are to challenge thinking by writing down my thoughts, weighing up best case vs worst case, distraction (saying stop stop with an elastic band to add a bit of weight). I am failing at the cbt. My stresses are so much that when I feel overwhelmed my ha goes nuts.

Help and advice! Any strategies?

Thanks