Hiya emmas, thank you for your reply and I am more than happy to reply to you.

you asked how do you break the habit!!!! your aware of making excuses and you tell yourself that its your anxieties and panic that stops you.

So how do we grow from being or becoming dependant on others to pushing ourself forwards into becoming independant?

Breaking a habit is very hard emma, and anxiety can feel like an emotional addiction!!! some people fight very hard to cope with feelings of anxiety and panic, and over a period of time, we begin to doubt our own feelings and become fearful of trying something new........... dependance is about not feeling safe in ourself.

for me emma TRUST AND SAFTEY went hand in hand with my anxieties and panic, I had to learn how to trust my feelings and to feel safe with what I was feeling.

The other thing that I learned about myself, was the issue of control in my life. My feelings were so controlled, trying to control the panic, the lonliness, the checking, the counting, controlling those things with fear !!!!!

breaking the habit, you are honest enough to admit your making excuses, you want to change but your fearful. change is always scary at first,

Imagine this scenario!!!!! just to explain how anxiety and change can work!!!! with persistant!!!

A child is told he, or she is starting school for the first time. Now we would never say to a child, ' your suffering from anxiety',

Up until the day he/she starts school, they are safe in their comfort zone, they know their surroundings, and they feel safe, they are familiar with their parents and their environment.

Now moving from their comfort zone, the child will have tummy aches, will cry, will tug at mummy skirt, will be feel nervous, will want to say at home and will simply feel scared for going to school, because it is a place that is alien to them, has adults they do not know, is in a different environment where they know no one, have no security and is left feeling completely alone. The child depends on mum to make him feel safe.

But as all good mothers and dads, and carers, we encourage our children , that they will make new friends, that they will be there to pick them up, and nothing bad is going to happen to them.

The symptons the childs feel is real, but the belief is misplaced, because of fear. We know that all our children need is constant reasurrance that things will get better, and so each day we take our children to school.

As time goes by, the crying stops, and the child is growing in strength and begins to feel safe, each day gets easier and he or she begins to make friends, and grows in confidence, until the day comes when they just give you a quick kiss and run off because jack and jill are their waiting for them!!!!!

So equate this to breaking the habit, can it be done with persistant , yes it can!!!! can you become independant again yes you can. Independance is about challenging the way we feel about situations often what we dont feel comfortable about.

So how did I come to be the way I am, through hard work, self reflection, determination that I had control in my life, understanding my feelings, and making small changes in my life, developing a positive attitude, because not only does our attitude and behaviour change so too does our feelings.

So emmas where do you now go from here? When will be a good time to start, is there ever a good time to take control over your life? and to grow stronger and independant.

I know you can make the changes, emmas their has to be a first day!!!

hope this helps , lots of love and encouragement for the changes your about to make!!!!

skylight xx