Hello,
Just looking for a bit of advice, or maybe a reality check, I guess.
In late February, over the course of 4 days, I developed an extremely sore throat on swallowing and my right tonsil swelled up very noticeably (the right side has always been a bit larger than the left, and still is, but only slightly.) I also had this weird horrible shooting pain in the inside right side, whenever I put food in my mouth, before chewing even, it only lasted about 5-10 seconds before going (until the next time I ate after a while.)
On the 4th day I looked in my throat and saw a large white spot behind the swollen tonsil, I thought it’s either a tonsil stone (had a few of these before, but usually on the front, not behind) or tonsillitis. Saw the practice nurse who confirmed it was a tonsil stone by getting rid of it! There was relief a couple of days later and it all cleared up.
However, about a week later and still ongoing, I have a weird ache, bruising pain in my throat/neck on the right hand side only. Not like a normal sore throat, more like inbetween the tissues between the inside of my throat and the skin, somewhere in there, very hard to explain! It is there everyday but not all day, and tends to happen if I look right, look down or bend down. It’s like a hot, pressing, bruise ache, almost like there could be a lump inside and the movement is pressing on it and causing the pain. I’m not sure if there is or not though, that’s just what my mind tells me! And occasional ear pain in the right side only.
I also have a noticeable lymph node about an inch below my jaw hinge bit, so about 2-3 inches below my ear I guess, in the place where my parents always used to feel when I had tonsillitis as a child. It’s been there for quite a while, I noticed it at least 6 months ago I would say, it could have always been there and I definitely knew it was there before this pain started. It did swell up 3 weeks ago, when I went back to the nurse who said my throat looked a bit red and put me on a weeks course of antibiotics. I thought that would be the end of all of this, but it hasn’t changed anything. The node has gone back to the size I think it’s been for ages, but it’s always there and weirdly seems bigger in the morning until I press on it a bit. I try to feel it lightly and it feels like it moves a little bit if I press firmer, it feels harder and less moveable. I’ve also had some nasty itching, mostly in the evening but I’ve had this before in 2019, badly for a few months on end that drove me crazy, worried it was lymphoma, when it was most likely anxiety. It burns under the skin, but moves around, sometimes it goes, and comes back in a different place. Sometimes it’s so deep in my tummy it’ll make my foot jump! But it doesn’t really concern me and seems to be improving.
I saw a different nurse again at my doctors surgery last week (it’s impossible to see an actual doctor, but any medical professional is better qualified than I, so I don’t mind) and he was considering an ent referral over the phone, but then asked me to come in to have bloods taken. He checked in my ears, my throat, temperature, etc and said there was nothing obvious. Felt around my neck, said it felt fine, I asked him to check the particular place where I feel the lump, he said it didn’t feel like a node at first, but then checked again and said it was (didn’t fill me with confidence I must admit, but it was the afternoon when it feels a bit smaller! So weird.) He took the bloods which came back today, all fine except he said I have antibodies for Epstein-Barr but no current infection, but it means I’ve had it in the past. He said he tested for this as I admitted to being a bit tired when he asked me last week.
Anyway, all in all, I’m worried this could be throat cancer from hpv as I’m only 34, or maybe because I smoked for 5 years from the age of 17 including when I wore metal and plastic braces for 2 years! Which I feel horrid about now. I quit when I found out I was expecting my first child at 22 and haven’t smoked ever since and never will. (I lost my dad to lung cancer in 2014, and grew up in a family where everyone smoked, my mum apparently used to smoke while giving me my bottle as a baby! I can’t put any blame on them, the dangers of smoking weren’t as known then, but I’m digressing now!)
The nurse said to try and put it out my head, if it continues over a few weeks or get worse, I can go back, but I do sometimes wonder if they think I’m making more of a fuss because I have known health anxiety and haven’t yet had any of the things I’ve worried about. So a crying wolf situation really... I’m sure that’s not the case, they are professionals and they have a duty of care and all.
I’m not one to be like “oh no, I’ve had a sore throat and snotty nose for a week, it must be cancer.” But my symptoms do match up with those I’ve googled in the past (I don’t Google anymore, but during my worse years after my dad died, I read a lot and unfortunately I can’t unread it and I have the memory of an elephant) so I’ve resigned myself to all of this not going away over the next few months and me getting myself into a flap about approaching the doctors again, where it will turn out to be nothing again (probably after being referred to an ent) or this time, I may be justified in my concern. I’m quite scared, upset and also feel a bit numb - I know this process so well, but my signs and symptoms are so specific, it’s so hard to not think the worst.
Trying to remain positive in that lockdown is beginning to ease here in the UK and summer is on the way, but it just feels like there’s a dark shadow following me and stopping me being as positive as I want to be.
I really wanted this to be short and to the point, and thought I had, but evidently no - that’s not my style!
Please help if you think you can.
Thank you.