I've decided to post this under SA though I'm not sure whether it addresses any kind of anxiety directly. But anyway on with the post. Do people on NMP feel like they're an oddball, an outlier, a fifth wheel? A stupid question quite probably being as we're on an anxiety site. What prompted these thoughts was yesterday as I was leaving the house to walk our black lab. The neighbours on either side came out simultaneously to collect their wheelie bins and I received a cursory nod from one before they engaged in animated conversation.

I had that familiar feeling of being on the outside looking in. I'm probably looking too deeply which I've been told I do and I'm sure having an anxiety/dep diagnosis plays a major part in these kinds of scenario. But even as a child I tended to be a loner and can remember my Mum saying I was always happy playing on my own. I'm sure back then it was 'shyness' playing a part long before it ever became clinical. And clearly these character traits were the seeds of what was to follow and still plague me as I type.

There is an element of envy when I watch others in groups, all laughing and joking. The 'in crowd' relating to their fellow human beings seamlessly. I should end this here as its beginning to sound like self pity which isn't my intention. More a reflection on what I feel is the reality of me.