Hi,

I have had a very peculiar day. Started with me feeling really anxious as ever this morning and almost felt like back to square one.

Anyway, went to the docs to discuss perhaps trying beta blockers but he advised against it and we had a good chat about things. Basically, he was wary that even though he didn't doubt that they would calm my anxiety, he thought the beta blockers may actually worsen my depression and also he was aware that I may use them to do the hard work if you like, as opposed to trying to learn techniques to calm my anxiety naturally.

I ended up in tears in the surgery which I didn't expect (like I say felt like back to square one as that was how I was the first time I went to see him) but he was very nice and in the end he said I just needed someone to say to me that I was doing well and had achieved so much, but unfortunately the down side of that as he put it was the "higher you climb out of the bad situation, the further it seems like there is to fall" - which sums up exactly how I felt. He advised me to try and focus on the positive.

We agreed not to try the beta blockers and to go back and see him again in a month (or sooner if I felt I wanted to) to discuss things.

From feeling thoroughly miserable after my appt the fog suddenly felt like it was lifting at lunchtime. Not sure if it was just from talking to my doc, or the fact that it's hormone related (my period started yesterday but really got going this morning ifykwim!) but it really felt like a weight had been taken off me.

Going to get some vitamin B6 on the way home to see if that helps with the hormones but fingers crossed I am coming out of this one.

On the happy side, my MIL took my son (he is nearly 3) to see Santa today and he came on the phone to me saying "I was very excited!" and he sounded so chuffed.

Thanks for all your support guys. Hope you are all well.

Take Care

:-)