Hi all

I’m going on holiday to the Lake District tomorrow with my family. We don’t really do family holidays, or have much quality time, except for awkwardly squashed together at the dinner table at Christmas. In the whole lead up to this holiday I’ve been feeling really anxious around the following
- leaving home and being 200+ miles away (feel like I’m heading away from safety)
- missing my partner who isn’t able to come with
- actually getting there and back (I’m too anxious to drive myself there but I’m now feeling anxious at the prospect of being someone’s passenger)
- what if I panic on the way there/back in the car?
- what if I panic while we’re on holiday?
- what if a catastrophic misinterpretation becomes true?
- what if I’m not enjoying myself and want to come home?
- my family aren’t really very supportive of my panic attacks and anxiety as they still don’t really understand it. Can I be anxious in front of them? Will they help me? Can they help me?

All of this has been building in my head since we booked it and as I started packing my case tonight I had a panic attack (about an hour and a half a go and I still feel tearful and chest pains that come on when I think about it). My partner and I went on holiday to the same place earlier in the year and I didn’t feel like this at all, I was so excited and had a fantastic time (sure, I did have one wobble half way up a hill). This holiday however has done nothing but fill me with dread.

I’ve been trying to think more positively about it - everyone loves a holiday right? I’ll be in a big group of people so surely that will make me feel safe compared to being home alone, I’ll hopefully be too distracted and occupied to let my anxiety get its feed, and if I do have a panic attack in front of them, maybe they’ll learn a bit more about it.

I think I’m seeking reassurance posting this. Does anyone else get holiday panic?