hi,

i'm a new member and i just got back from the doctors.

in the last year i had a bad life crisis and was riding the depression etc for a while, but it got to the point that i felt i was "stuck" and wasn't getting any better. i saw the doctor a couple of months before christmas and was given stuff to read about grief and generalised anxiety disorder and was told to come back in a couple of weeks (i haven't suffered a death, but grief for a child is the closest that the doctor could find... and a child therapist i know said that being separated from a child for whatever reason is a grieving process).

i'd only managed to go to the doctor about it in the first place because of something totally unrelated and plucked up the courage to mention my depression, anxiety and insomnia.

anyway, christmas was hell and returning to work was hard, making the anxiety worse, so i went back to the doctor finally.

i've been prescribed propranolol (80 mg) to take once or twice daily and temazepam (10mg) rpn at night short course only.

what does "rpn" mean?

i have to go back to the doctor in 2 weeks to talk about cognitive therapy, but have only 10 tablets of temazepam... i've read about problems coming off temazepam, so what about the gap between stopping the tablets and going back to the doctor?

i'm a teacher and a bit worried about the effects of the drugs on my ability to teach.

also i read that temazepam can make depression and suicidal thoughts worse. hello? that's part of the reason i went to the doctor in the first place! i think about suicide btw but not in a practical way, more like i catch myself thinking (everyday) it would be easier to not exist, but then think, no goddam it, i wanna live and for it to be great!

i just wanna get back to where i was. my anxiety is preventing me from doing things i used to enjoy. the depression is up and down... i tend to be really excited and manic and within a moment hit a slump.

can't wait for spring and blossom!

i'm ranting... any advice about the drugs would be good...

i drink everyday (a little) and it helps the anxiety. do i REALLY have to avoid alcohol? i live on my own btw.

ideally i wanted to get through this naturally, but as i said i'm stuck, and i can't go and teach while anxious and not sleeping for 48 hours!

thanks

..::mDa::..