I have a pain at the mo just above my right chest area that is probably from carrying my heavy rucksack before but I'm sitting here thinking I don't want to die.

I felt a bit better until a few weeks ago until I heard of two people who had had heart attacks (one that I knew and one a husband of my Mam's friend both 60 plus - by the way so hardly same age as me I'm 38). Any time I don't think of myself having one I think of my parents having one.

I don't think I'm ever going to get over it. I first had a panic attack last April which resulted in an ambulance as I thought I was dying... I'm very overweight so that doesn't help I'm trying to lose weight maybe I won't obsess over heart attacks as much if I do.

I'm just sick of it.