Since Saturday has been really hard for me, so much has gone wrong, forcing me to take a day and a half off work,and not having any transport, the only way Ill leave the house, Im never off work but had no option, it seems that this is my normal way of living now, just waiting for the next thing to happen, one good friend advised me to stand still, the only way my life would be anything like normal again would be to stand still, another suggested Feng Shui, something I will look into,but then someone sent me an email containing the lyrics of a lovely song which has given me strength, I know not all the words are suitable, but most of it is true to fight panic, I dont watch TV much and live for my music and this has given me strength, my panics are bad when things go wrong that involves teeth or money, my fobia is teeth or lack of them should I say, and at the moment Im fighting off repossesion after being left after 25years, with a large mortgage, anyway Im rambling again but Im not being negative, I had a lovely weekend last weekend that I guessed something would happen this weekend, its like Im not allowed to be happy???
I wanted to share the lyrics as I feel most of it is appropriate to how we cope with what we do, our fears due to panic etc,this post probably sounds rubbish, but I know what I mean, (good job someone does ))


Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could


There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full, I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say



They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way clear through the rain
A small, but still, resilient voice
Says help is very near


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx