I witnessed my first panic attack this weekend. My daughter, 14, husband and I went to her friend's 15th birthday party. It was a big production with band, etc. There was a group from our neighborhood (6 boys) there, among others. A lot of adults and young children were dancing. I noticed my daughter would get up and dance for a minute or two in the group dances (line dancing, etc., but then sit down immediately). My husband and I were out dancing and I look over and my daughter is standing on the dance floor with 1 of the boys. They walk up, stand there for 5 seconds and walk off. I asked her what happened, and she said "I can't dance." I talked to her about it because she has gone to 4 school dances so far and she said all her friends dance together and no one really cares. She apparently felt a lot of pressure in that the boys from the neighborhood were watching, which they were. She kept saying she wanted to leave, though we had not been there that long. I obviously wasn't assessing the situation very well. We were sitting down and she starts crying. She starts hyperventilating and tears are flowing down her cheeks. She said "He's coming. He's coming over to ask me to dance again." I tell her to say no. She is very, very sensitive to others and says, "No, I can't say no. I know how hard it is for him to come over and ask me to dance. If I say no, all his friends will give him a hard time." She literally starts shaking. I stand up to take her to the bathroom and by that time the boy is standing behind her. She gets up to go dance with him. I told her to go on the other side of the dance floor where the group couldn't watch her. Of course, all the boys at the table were giving the high-five signs and thumbs up. Part of me wanted to go snatch her off and part of me was saying she needs to work through it. When she came back, she was a little calmer. Then about 10 min. later, she said, "Here he comes again." Tears were again coming down her face and she started shaking again. We left immediately. I tried to find out if there was some underlying meaning in the situation, she was scared of the boy, etc., but it had nothing to do w/him in particular. It was the situation. I have spoken only briefly with her about it, but this is something I don't want her to fear in the future. She is a self-confident, self-assured child, so this really threw me for a loop.

I know I need to speak in detail with her about this, but I don't want to put any suggestive thoughts into her head.

My heart ached and I don't want this to be something that she has to fear for the rest of her life.

Any suggestions would be grateful. Concerned mom.

Tracy