Hi my new family x
I had bad thoughts yesterday, and wanted to hurt myself again, i had a panic attack, but for first time in ages i stopped and thought, i put on my pm messages and read all your messages of support and love.
If you all believe in me and have given up your time to help me then perhaps im not as bad and hated as i think i am.
So i put down the drink and razors, and thought bout you all, it worked i beat the bad feelings, they didnt win i did.
I want you all hopefully to know the happy susie, I was the life and sole of the party, i loved to have a good time and i loved to make people laugh, i want so much to get to the top of the hole im in and climb out and hug everyone of you.
I feel i have lost my family, but have gained a new one in all of you dont want to lose any of you ever, you have made me feel so loved and cared for. thankyou so much.
It my birthday next month i havent celebrated it in 4 years not even my 40th, perhaps this year i can share it with all of you.
I gona go to work for couple of hours to day just to get out the house, more little steps forward. i hope to come into chat later.
If I feel bad today i will think of my new family and get through the day.
I love each and everyone of you more and more each day
I am here for everyone of you with my love and support xxxx
Thankyou for not giving up on me starting to feel loved again after so much hurt. i glad i found you all dont think i be here now if it hadnt been for you.
love you all loads
big hugs and cor i can smile again xxxxxxxxxx
susie