Hiya all

Would really appreciate some advice on my situation. Until a few weeks ago had never experienced anything remotely like an attack. Am very scared and bewildered.

Basically, they have coincided with me returning to university. I have two small children and preparing everything for the big day has been one long struggle after another - basically been under a lot of stress for several months.

I had the first one in the middle of our welcome lecture on Monday 13th. It eventually went away and I thought no more of it and told no-one. I didn't want to make a huge fuss about it in case I started to dwell on it. As its a PGCE course I spent the remainder of the week on observation in a school - absolutely no problems what so ever. Mum and Dad were looking after the kids.

Went into uni last monday - again no problems at all and then in the afternoon lecture, actually almost at the end, another one struck. This one didn't go away, just ebbed and flowed. Again, stayed with it; didn't leave the hall. But this time the feelings followed me into the seminar where I was almost desperate to get out of the room. Again, I forced myself to stay reasoning that I might well make it worse if I leave now. But during that seminar the thought popped into my head that I would need to get on the train - and I think that's where some of the problems started.

Managed to get home and had a chat with my husband - still absolutely puzzled as to what was going on. Thought a few stiff drinks would sort it out and I fell asleep. Woke up in the middle of the night with my heart racing and absolutely wired. Rang NHS direct who recommend that I see the doctor first thing.

The doctor put me on anti-depressants and diazapam . The idea being that the diazapam would calm me down and give the anti-depressants time to kick in. Tried to get back in on the Wednesday but the thought of getting on the train absolutely terrified me. The other strange thing is that I think I am producing an excess of adrenaline as I can feel this very strange cool sensation all the time in my muscles. Anyway, went back to the doctors who signed me off for two weeks.

I've never experienced anything remotely like this before ; generally I am a confident person who relishes new experiences. I was very much looking forward to starting the course, I just feel so bewildered now how things could change so quickly. It feels like a part of me has broken.

There must be a trigger with my kids though - last monday was the first day they went to the childminder and I didn't sleep one wink the night before. On top of that I had a horrendously painful period and one of the kids at the school had given me a mild form of tonsillitis so was taking anadin max strength.

What do I do - I'm so confused! I would appreciate any thoughts/ideas/suggestions.

Cheers

Vicky