Hi guys!

Just thought i'd drop by and write a positive post for a change!!

As many of you know I suffer from quite an extreme phobia of allergic reactions. I have been struggling quite badly since April, at one stage only eating bread and losing nearly two stone but gradually starting to build myself back up again.

I stick to rigid routines with my safe foods, but with the help of my boyfriend and CBT i am starting to try and break my bad habits. I also do silly things like take my own teabags into work because im worried something is different about the work ones!

So my CBT homework was to take a teabag from work home, to drink it there - as my first step. And i can say on saturday, i did it! The next step it to drink a tea at work using their teabag, then the third is to let somebody else at work make me a tea and drink it! I am planning to do the drinking at work stage tomorrow :--)

I also let my boyfriend cook me breakfast at his house on saturday, and had no control over the cooking (something i NEVER do) i also tried a new brand of bread, something i never do!

Then yesterday, i did my most successful thing of the week! i ATE a bowl of chips out in a pub! i haven't eaten out since april/may time so this was a massive step forward for me. i'm feeling really glad that i have started to push myself, as i really want to start running towards recovery and towards a much healthier, less anxious lifestyle!!

So moral of the story i think is that baby steps and lots of support are the way forward. My therapist says we could talk until we were blue in the face about the 'dangers' of an allergic reaction, and how i can tackle it, but that will still never help me overcome my phobia. only 'having a go' as he calls it will start to help me see that i will be okay. on sunday my boyfriend said even if you just hold a chip, youve given it a go - and i think because there was no pressure, (and maybe cause he hadn't fed me since brekkie ) i thought sod it! and just went for it.

just thought i'd share with you all. thanks everybody for your support and all the love, i absolute adore NMP