ello this is how it started, i have been with my boyfriend for 15 months i am 18 nearly 19 when we first got to together it was amasing and i got so excited i quickly fell in love with him (he is my second love) i had never felt the way i did with him for anyone before , the relationship was going great we hit a rough patch were we argued alot of the time but then we didnt argue atall after i always worried about him and i have never ever had any self confidence,about 8-9 months into the relationship i was on the way to his and i felt really weird and i just didnt stop crying for days wouldnt stop shaking and was really ill , he got really nervous and got so worried that i didnt love him anymore and it was his fault , ever since then i felt weird about my boyfriend and then we had a small break i cryed and cryed and was heart broken, he then came to my door one day and said lets do it again and i was over the moon and the feelings all went and it was all positive feelings after a couple of days all the negative thoughts came back , these thoughts are i dont think i love my boyfreind , hes going to leave me , hes going to cheat and a lot more , i know i love him more than anythingg and hes the biggest part of my life and i would love to have a future with him thinking of me with others makes me feel sick but the feelings arnt there , i have had around 6 anxiety attacks ,i have been seeing a counsilor for a few months and i have been feeling this feeling for 9 months now but i will not give up can anyone help me please , thankyou so much does anybody think i will feel as in love as i once felt before ?how long have you felt like this before it all went back to normal ?

a few people say maybe you have just fallen out of love but i dont believe you can suddenly in a second fall out of love if your relationship hasn't changed it was perfect and still is ,i i know i still love him.other wise why would i be this long with him , my dad had an affair and my counsilor thinks it hads something to do with it , when i think of my partner i worry because i can imagine him with someone else :,( i am going to the doctors this week to see if any medication can help my anxiety any advice ?and no matter what im always thinking negatively very rarely positively .

today i felt alot better because i stopped my self from worrying as much and last night i wrote why i love him and y i shouldnt i could think of one negative thing about him all positive, but when he goes home i get a bit worried again and end up coming back on here but trying to control that.

i also have really bad dreams that are so real about him leaving me or cheating on me and i just wake up and cry .