I have a very irrational fear of being sick and it is starting to take over my life if anyone around me is ill i will avoid them and my heart starts beating faster and feel like im about to pass out. I am 18 and a female, i cant remember exactly but i would say it start around the age of 10. As soon as anyone was ill in my house i would panic that i was going to catch the bug then i would psychological feel ill and make myself suffer thinking i was also infected. Then i decided to come up with a solution and i used to hear that 'eating too many sweets would make you sick' but not many 10 year olds would take this is mind however i used to limited the sugary intake off sweets this went on until i was roughly 14 and was that hard to cope with until one day one of my friends said she felt sick from eating too much for dinner, therefore i then got it in my head that ALL food makes you sick, so i went through stages of not eating a great deal and probably feeling sick after this. i decided to keep a written list off the food i was eating so at the end of the day i could decide whether it was suitable i used to hide these pieces of paper and dispose them the next day so no one knew my strange obsession over food.i started to wonder if i had an eating disorder however i DO NOT have a fear of becoming fat which is stereotypically the reason behind eating disorders. keeping a record of my food helped for a few months then i started to think my brain was lying to me and i was actually eating more than i thought. therefore from that age up until now i have had to stop whatever i am doing continuously through the day to 'think' of what i had done all day and when i had eaten down to the littlest detail of going to the toilet.in total i would spend around 2 hours a day in complete silence trying to pin point exactly what i had eaten, i would walk around the house and check all the cupboards to remind me off foods i have eaten. I have suffered from depression in the past and i think this fear of being sick is leading to OCD. Food plays a huge part in the control of avoiding being sick however tablets and medication come into it, i panick when i need to take tablets as i am scared incase i have overdosed without realising leading to me being sick, i wont eat in public places because i am unsure of how things are cooked and i wont eat meat incase it hasnt been cooked properly. i would taste milk a millions times until i was sure it wasnt off, i check dates on food all the time. also at the age of 18 surprisingly i do not drink alcohol. at all, i have never in my life been drunk just incase i am sick it is getting on top of me quite alot and i am at a dead end, sorry about the long post i just hope someone can guide me to what to do, thank you.