Hi there, I have been on this site before but not for a while as I have been trying to overcome my problems, with little success.

I just dont no what to do anymore, when i feel like i am making progress, the next day it feels like ive made none.I have been to my doctor (who is a complete waste of space) so many times now I have given up on the health care service. I panic alot, but most of the time its on weekends, I panic about going out, or if my boyfriends ok, being on my own everything basically! I hate what my life has turned into, I used to be so happy and outgoing, now i feel like a nobody who can't get over the past. I am living with my boyfriend and he doesn't have a clue whats going on, i have tried to talk to him before but he doesn't understand, I think the thought of mental illnesses scares him like it does alot of people, but that isn't his fault. I told him before we got together that I had some problems and he was fine, but since then he doesn't like to talk about it, and neither do i because I no that he doesn't understand. I really do love my fella, i just take things out on him when i am feeling down, i hate it to because sometimes i feel so insecure about myself i feel like i constantly need affection from him *Going all clingy* lol, my family has given me support in the early days, sisters and mum were there for me but I no that i need to get through this on my own now, its not fair to keep dragging everyone down. I dont like seeing my friends or going out because i feel like people are staring at me and then i start panicking. I just feel like i am in constant battle with my mind, keeping me up for hours and hours some nights because it wont shut off!

I just feel so empty, like i dont no who i am anymore or what i want. Sorry its a but longwinded but I feel 100 times better now that i have wrote how i feel! Thank you everyone,this site is really great! Any advise would be greatly appriciated thanks
Love Louxxxxx