How do you find the balance between facing an anxious situation to learn that it's not dangerous, and not biting off more than you can chew and ending up in a much worse situation?

Last year I visited my parents around Christmas for a few days. I was pretty anxious before going but then spent the whole time in a state of very high anxiety. It was awful. Really, really awful.

Since then the thought of visiting has terrified me. But I'm a university student, so not only is it expected that I'll go to my parents' place (which is quite far away) but also if I didn't I'd be on my own. I don't know that that would bother me enormously, but it's Christmas, and that isn't what's meant to happen. And I do want to see my folks, I do miss them. But anxiety taints everything it touches.

Anyway, I decided I'd stay in a cheap hotel, so I can visit my parents for a few hours at a time, and learn that it's OK and get used to it etc. I should say that my parents are wonderful, I love them to bits and they're really supportive as I've struggled with anxiety, which I've had for a few years.

I thought that was a good plan - I'm facing the situation that makes me anxious, it'll be a chance for me to put into practice all the things I've learnt about anxiety, and I get to be with family at least for some of Christmas Day. And whenever I feel anxious and worried about it, I just keep telling myself 'It's one day! Even if it's awful it's only one day'.

So then I find out that trains don't run on Boxing Day, and I don't have a car, so I'll have to stay an extra day. I don't know that I can manage that. Dad's offered to drive me back to my house on Boxing Day, which we did last year, but its over 4 hours each way, and he'd have to drive back the same day. Not exactly a great Christmas present for him.

So now I'm torn, and don't know what to do. The worst thing is that booking things (e.g. hotel rooms) last minute costs loads - I got the two nights I did early for that very reason, but the cheaper versions are non-refundable. And I'm feeling guilty because really I want my Dad to drive me back on Boxing Day, and ashamed and embarrassed that I choose to stay in a hotel instead of in my own parents' house.

When I told Dad about the idea, I was sort of expecting him to agree that it was a good idea, instead he very nearly laughed, and I felt really silly and small. His idea for tackling this issue (I told him the trouble I was having a few months ago) was for us all to stay in a cottage somewhere over Christmas. I didn't tell him this, but that would be even worse, because it would be exactly the same problem, but added to it, guilt for having them spend loads of money because of me. So I thought my idea was loads better, in every way!

Oh I'm sorry for the really long post! I just had to let it all out. I don't even know what I'm asking. Have any of you been in similar situations? Trying to counter a really powerful, negative memory, replace it with a good one, but made harder by simple, practical issues like living far away, or not being able to drive a bleedin' car!

I don't want to AVOID my parents' house, or my parents for that matter, but I don't want to jump in at the deep end and make things worse.