I've never been especially keen on flying, but about 2 years ago I was on a flight to Amsterdam and I had probably my worst panic attack ever. As the plane took off my fight or flight response kicked in and I had an urge to dash for the door and get out. I was trying to fight it, clinging on to the arm rest for dear life, my legs wrapped around the leg of the chair and forcing myself back into my seat.

It was only a short flight but I was breathing in and out of a sick bag the whole way and a stewardess sat with me to calm me down.

When we got there I was feeling awful and when I saw the armed policemen my fight or flight repsonse went off again and I had an urge to grab his gun and start shooting!!

I went out with everyone that afternoon and had quite a nice time, but the next day I felt absolutely horrendous- I felt like throwing myself out of the window.

And then I started dreading how I was going to get back. I wasn't flying, the tunnel would petrify me and I have an urge to jump off boats! I felt like i could never get home. In the end I decided that I was best off sticking with the others and flying back. As the plane took off I nearly shouted "stop! let me off". It wasn't as bad on the way home, but still not nice either.

The worst part for me was that I couldn't place myself. It didn't seem to be a real place to be up in the clouds.

Since then I have developed a fear of being on the planet, which is accentuated by travelling anywhere. I'm due to fly to Cyprus next year to get married and it's daunting. BUT I don't want to be restricted to England or even to my small town. I want to see the world.

As I'm writing this I actually feel quite calm about what happened. that's a breakthrough!!

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.