I have had yet another good day but then it's gotten worse as the evening has gone on. I see a theme whereas I am ok in the day and then in the evening I fall apart inside. Tonight the breaker was watching Mrs Doubtfire. A film I have loved for many years, haven't watched it for a long time and it came to the part where they are going swimming and I felt I shouldn't watch but I still did because I wanted to make sure that there was nothing there that could set me off next time I watch it but then I felt much worse because I thought I wanted to see the little girl in her swimming costume but I really don't want to. I am really struggling with this.

My main fear mostly is that I want to see children in vulnerable positions rather than the fear of hurting them. Don't get me wrong I do have those fears too but the most prominent is the fear of the former.
I wish I could find a way to overcome this once and for all.