Re: Today has been a nightmare
Elle-Kay, I think that, like most people and with life in general, especially when we suffer with anxiety etc. it is so incredibly easy to just see all the bad stuff and everything that's gone wrong and feel like we are getting worse or not getting better. It has given me a boost to see you being so positive and saying that on balance you have had more good days than bad this week; I think I should take a leaf out of your book and focus on what I have achieved rather than what I haven't!
Paranoidtree: "I just feel so tired from fighting with myself all the time. i think this breakdown has been coming on for a while but it doesn't make it any easier. i guess i feel like when i'm 'ok' i'm just pretending, it doesn't feel real anymore. My husband told me he misses me earlier, that broke my heart, i miss me too. i don't like who i have become."
This made me cry (not in a bad way, I just related to it so much). This is EXACTLY how I feel. When I'm not feeling rotten I feel like it's taking all my effort and energy to be brave and positive, when I actually feel like running away, hiding and crying. I miss 'me', too. My counsellor asked me who I am when I am on my own, what it is I like to do. I thought about it, and I genuinely don't know any more. I don't know who the real 'me' is.
I know we can both get better in time, but that doesn't always make the here and now any easier.
On the plus side, we are both lucky to have partners who love and support us, and that can make the journey easier.
Take care of yourself,
Danny xxx
__________________
"I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else." - Winston Churchill