(Thinking "aloud")
If I do it, I will have such a sense of achievement afterwards.
My husband will be really pleased.
I might not fear it as much next time.
I will prove to myself that the panic will go.
Maybe I won't need to do it again. Maybe that will be enough to stop me fearing it?
Aaaagggghhhhh...... it is so hard!!!!!!!
If I do it, it will be about 4.45/5pm ish.
Kate

---------- Post added at 16:00 ---------- Previous post was at 15:56 ----------

Thanks Annie. What is the course about? I have previously tried CBT and I didn't get very far.
My current therapist (I'm not sure of her title... I think she is a CPN) is pressuring me to do graded exposure, but we have been doing it for ages now and I have made no progress. If anything, I seem to be getting worse. She also thinks that you shouldn't distract yourself or use techniques because at the end of the day, panic isn't dangerous.