Everybody is getting sick of me, my agoraphobia has been really bad for 2 years now. I'm young and I can't do the normal thing my friends or partner is doing. I spend nearly all of my time inside. I feel pressured by the people around me to be doing more than I can do, and I'm always made to believe I'm a let down. I'm practically backed into a corner where I can't speak about my anxiety because everyone has grown tired of it, stopping us going places, stopping my relationships progressing. I feel forced into doing stuff I don't want to do to keep other people happy. Today for example, I didn't want to go out. I don't do well in cars. I don't go away from home. I don't go out of my comfort zone. I couldn't say any of this because if I do I'm "being negative" or it's "oh look at me I have anxiety feel sorry for me". I went out, couldn't make it (which I expected) and then I was made to feel like I let everybody down because we had to come home.
It's ridiculous. I've seen and heard my close friends saying to other people I'm "mind numbingly boring" because I CAN'T do the things they want me to do.
All the while I'm just being chipped at emotionally. I get worse everyday and they don't know they're doing it and whats more they wouldn't care if they did. I've told them so many times before. I'm backed into a corner now where I feel like it can only get worse. Everybody thinks I'm a nuisance, everybody sees me as never trying to get better when in reality I feel I've succeeded even if I just get out of bed and get myself looking presentable. I'm insecure about everything, the past few months have shown me what the people close to me are really like. I don't feel safe around them, yet I can't go anywhere. I can't say anything or I really do live to regret it. I have nobody I can talk to.
I don't want to do this any more. I don't want to be made out to be an attention seeker just for asking for a bit of help.