Originally Posted by
spennock
Oh I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm by no means an expert but I have been through some of the same things. First of all, if you feel like you're going to be a danger to yourself or others you need to reach out and get professional help. I suffered these thoughts as a small child. I constantly had these terrible thoughts about hurting my family or loved ones. It is really painful to experience because because it completely doesn't make any sense. I remember beating my head against the wall as a child trying to make them go away. I finally had some success with looking in a mirror and reaffirming to myself that what I was in control and I didn't have to follow through. What I did next is going to sound silly but it worked for me...look in the mirror at yourself and laugh. I know, right?! But think about how your brain is trying so desperately to make you miserable and how you don't have to follow it. I remember laughing about some of the Ludacris things that would pop into my brain. Try to have some sense of humor...and remember you aren't the only one suffering. Also I've found helping others helps. Just get out of the house, maybe help someone at the market with their bags or volunteer somewhere. In the meantime, glance in the mirror and tell yourself you've got this!