Obsessive fear of losing loved ones

[Magic]

I feel for you poppy . No, I have not had the experience you have had.
My mother was left with 3 young children when her husband was killed in an accident. She married again--that's why I am here.
I don't know your age Poppy, but don't be afraid. Go with your heart

[Rose Q]

I am sad that you all have the same fear as me but comforting to know I'm not the only one
I just keep on telling myself that we all have our time to go. Each of us has our journey here and people are brought into our lives for a reason no matter how long or short that time is, we have to enjoy them while they're here. It will be terribly hard for us if God forbid our worst fear comes true but God won't give us anything that we can't handle. The real tragedy is the way we are letting our thoughts control us stopping us from happiness and potentially creating the reality of it as we do tend to create & attract our most dominant thoughts. Then we'd be hating ourselves thinking why didn't I enjoy the time with them while I could have.
I do suffer this every day but I don't believe there's a quick fix guys we just have to plant flowers in our minds every day or weeds will grow

[relda]

I've only just found this thread.

I do exactly the same. I worry about my hubby, children, mum, dad & to a lesser extent my siblings.

I also put this down to general anxiety, so is there a point where the constant thoughts become OCD?

I can't be comfortable whenever my hubby is out of my sight. I get him to phone when he reaches work. But even then I worry something will happen whilst he's there & have to phone/email if he doesn't respond I feel hot sweaty, sick, & get tunnel vision panic where I can't concentrate on anything else.
I have constant thoughts about him having to be revived after a car crash or illness. To the extent that I worry about what he eats etc.

[Stephanylopez555]

hello i am new here and i also have a gut renching fear i am always so scraed to lose my baby and husband, anyone in gemeral, i get horrible attacks and they are uncontrolably at times and the attacks get to the point that my chest hurts ,my whole body hurts if anyone has any ideas how to help i am open i cant live like this anymore this fear of death or fear of life is limiting me on living my life i feel that i am a tortured person

[Annie-pannie]

Hello Stephany
I know exactly what you mean about the horrible attacks. I used to get them so bad that I couldn't breathe. I still get them but I manage them better now.
I have come so far since I first joined this site - I still have so far to go.
I first tried a recommendation by Dan1975 "Acceptance is key". I purchased a book by Russ Harris "The Reality Slap". This taught me to breathe and to acknowledge the thought pattern and to bring myself back to the present moment.
After reading this book I practice mindfulness daily and when I notice the panic attacks arising I take a deep breath and look at 5 things to bring me back into the present moment, such as the sky, a bird, a cloud - anything that will bring you to the here and now.
We love our loved ones so much that the thought of being without them is so terrifying but to live like we are doing is so sad......
The mindfulness has helped me greatly.
Another thing that the book recommends is to name the thoughts - they lose their power by naming it. So when you get these horrible thoughts, give it a name - tell yourself "oh here comes my devastation thought again" - I promise you it really will help to eliminate their power over you.
Good luck - I'm here, we are all here for you

[bridge21]

I am so very happy to have found this...thank you Google!
I have suffered with this type of OCD and anxiety my entire life (I will be 40 this summer) and it has always been focused on my family. It was my Mom and my brother but when I met my husband it started with him and when we had our son, I now obsess about him as well.
To the outside world, I seem together- have a house, a good job, friends, etc but on the inside my mind goes at 1000 mph and it is hard for me to be "present". I fear I am going to miss my entire life because of this and that eventually my son is going to hate me when he gets older. The thought of him someday driving or being away from me overnight makes me want to vomit and he is only 4 years old.
I am in therapy but not currently taking meds (we want to have a second child) but nothing is helping. I find comfort (strange as that sounds) to find others like me as I always seem to meet those who obsess about clean hands or something else. This is a very isolating and like a personal prison.

[Crusty26]

Finding this thread is bittersweet for me. It's good to know I am not alone in my fears but at the same time, I'm sorry for all of you suffering the way I do. I cried reading all the posts so similar to my feelings. I didn't realize I could consider myself lucky in my situation in that I don't constantly worry every time I am separated from my loved ones, but I do start to get anxiety when they're late or don't answer their phones. My main issue with anxiety over loss right now is with my parents. The thought of losing the two people who have cared for me and have been there for me forever brings me to my knees. I heard it once put as "I don't know how to live in a world where they're not". And it's true, I don't. I think the only positive thing that comes from my anxiety is the way it makes me live my life for the important things. I live my life for love. For my son, for my family. But at the same time that's exactly what gives me more anxiety. I live my life for these people, I would do anything for them, and what if I lose them? Then what is the point? Where is there happiness if they are not here? I worry about smiling again. I've had anxiety since as long as I could remember, always a fear of people abandoning me. Even now as an adult at 25 I have it. I hoped I would grow out of it by now but I guess the thoughts are in for the long haul. I find it hard to talk about it, but at the same time right now I find it a little helpful getting the thoughts out of my head. The worst part is you know it's going to happen. You know you will have to go through this loss. It's unbearable knowing it's coming, you just don't know when. My parents are fairly young, only 51 and 52 and both their sets of parents are still alive, save for my grandmother who passed away 3 years ago in a house fire. But she would've lived longer. So I have reason to believe they'll be around for a long time. But when It does happen I'm afraid I'll lose all my happiness. That nothing will motivate me to even get out of bed and go to work and live my life. It's scares me everyday.
I have very little experience with loss. The only person I've truly loved and lost was my grandmother. I've lost a cousin but he lived states away and I almost never saw him so it was sad but not life changing. I think that's where all this worry comes from. My hubby has lost people his whole life, it's sad but he's had that chance to learn how to deal with it little by little. I haven't.
Anyway I'm going on and on.
Good luck to all of you out there. Stay strong and I will too. Xo

[Anxiouslouis]

I found this website to be really helpful with my anxiety. I hope it helps you as well..

healthyplace dot com /blogs / anxiety-schmanxiety /2012/ 11/fear-of-losing-someone-you-love/

[sushmita]

i am really shocked at seeing this forum that so many of us think tin the same way..even i have such panick attacks for my parents..i dnt know how to cope with it..i am not able to concentrate on good things and i find life a useless thing..we love our parents our spouse so much and life can be so unpredictable that we dont know what will be the future like..terrible..want to die

[Brainwash]

Thank you for this thread.

I been recently having these thoughts again. it usually happens when my parents head overseas. 103 weeks ago, they went for a cruise and that week has been terrifying. Always have been having this fear and it has gotten worst throughout the years. I would literally, check on them at night to see if they are breathing. When i hug my mum, i would commit it to memory cause i am afraid there won't be a next time.

Have anyone experience any methods on reducing this fear? or at least controlling and stabalising it. I want to overcome this fear. It's taking away previous moments in my life.. please reply..