Originally Posted by
desperate_teen
I really don't know how old this post is now, but I am so desperate for help. I've never told anyone about the thoughts I have but I just think I need to know that Im normal. Ever since I was younger Id become obssessed with ideas, like, Id have to pray every night, that my family would be safe, and I couldnt ever right a '+' symbol without puting a 'X' over it so it looked like a star and not a crucifix, because I was terrified of hell. As I got older the habbits changed, the most recent one, was magpies, like the rhyme "1 for sorrow 2 for joy" like Id have to count and become terrified they were signs that something bad would happen, I use 7/11 breathing to help over come that, but recently Ive been really scared, it kind of came out of nowhere, but I suddenly started thinking I'm a pedofile. Im terrified. A lot of my symptoms are similar to this post. Like, I was watching TV and a nappy advert came on with a babies bare butt and I thought "Are they allowed to show that?" then I got freaked out for noticing, like why would I pick that out? I am honestly disgusted by the thoughts. I've always loved kids, and want to be a mother (to the point where I almost trained to be a midwife) and I've never had this kind of thing before - infact, quite the oposite, I become quite obsessed when I was 15, with labeling my sexuality, which I figure is normal? and Ive always known I was into BDSM, and the like, but NEVER anything like that. I literally researched the history of what I liked, found a community, that kind of thing and there hasnt ever been a problem! I promise I'm not attracted to children it's just the thoughts that I can't help thinking, but I'm so scared. I can't talk to anyone in my house about it because they wouldnt understand. I'm really worried there's something wrong with me.