Re: I don't know if I'm depressed or not; I just feel like there's no hope?
Well, I saw the derm today. She was actually really nice and I enjoyed talking to her. She had high hopes that accutane would work so I decided to bite the bullet and go on it (I start in about a month).
I'm nervous because it seems like a "last resort" and I fear it won't work and then I really will be hopeless. But she had high hopes. I had a friend who went on it and did really well, so maybe. I also have to wait longer to start scar treatment, but hopefully in the long run it will pay off. One step at a time.
My challenge now is to find a way to love myself no matter what, have more confidence in myself, and have more faith in life in general. MUCH easier said than done, but I'm trying.
---------- Post added at 18:05 ---------- Previous post was at 15:03 ----------
I guess I should mention too that there are times I think that maybe things aren't so bad; it could be worse, I could be fatally ill or something.
It's just when I read about acne on the internet, a lot of emphasis is put in potential scarring...and it just makes me feel like people DO view it worse than I do; the way its worded, it could say "acne can lead to malignant cancer" and I'd react the same way. That, and the rush by docs and my parents to "get it all taken care of" make me feel like I'm not good enough the way I am, that I have to get it done ASAP or I'm unworthy.
I know they're just trying to help me, but it feels like extra pressure when I'm already putting SO MUCH on myself to "get better"
__________________
On the road of experience, join in the living day. If there's an answer it's just that it's just that way.
When you're looking for space and to find out who you are...When you're looking to try and reach the stars.
It's a sweet, sweet, sweet dream; sometimes I'm almost there
Sometimes I fly like an eagle, sometimes I'm deep in despair.