Feel like something isn't right??

[Pinguanxious]

I think a lot of my problems are anxiety based as well. It's difficult
For example I wake up every morning in panic again.
I ruminate excessively over past mistakes and feel I've ruined my life because of some of them
I am very low in mood
I am overly nervous in certain situations
I just hate feeling like this again. I don't want to be like this forever. I just want to be able to move forward. My partner has stated he really don't care about the past. But my thinking is he gave me everything. And I took it all for granted. He wants to move on but I can't stop thinking what a terrible person I am and I keep dwelling on these moments to try and work out what lies I told and whether I told him every detail

[Pinguanxious]

And mornings are bad again. I wake up with panic attacks. This then makes me ruminate on all the guilty things and then I start my day off negatively. I try to calm down and go for a shower but the low mood still persists.i don't want this to last forever I feel awful. Constantly on edge as if I may break into a million pieces. And what makes me feel worse is how disconnected I feel to my partner. That then makes me think of things like do I love him really. Should we be getting married, what if this is my brains way of telling me I'm making the wrong choice

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think it's best you don't judge things right now because you are having a relapse and things are going to seem negative. You went through all of these thoughts before, got engaged and had a great holiday. For me, if you were happy then, thats what matters. When you are in the ruts like now things all seem dark and we get into chains of thought about things we don't need like your thoughts about how your brain is trying tell you something. It isn't, thats just low mood. Once you get out of a low mood stage you can see things for what they are again and you know that how you felt in that low mood stage was just how things appeared at the time and they were distorted.

Things are tough right now, but they were tough when you started this thread. They got a lot better. You had your ups & down, blips, etc but you kept recovering until the point where you were much better and didn't need as much anymore. You were comfortable.

Take things one day at a time right now, the future is a large scary thing when we are like this. Small steps back to where you got to.

[Pinguanxious]

Yer your right terry. I feel great right now. But I know that bedtime is getting nearer which means starting again. I've done it before I'll do it again! If tommorow I post and I feel bad you have my permission to remind me I am fine right now. And that I do love my partner lol

[MyNameIsTerry]

If you can feel great at any point in the day, things could be worse. When I was really bad, there was no good point, not even an OK point, it was like that for many months. So, use the good points and make sure you remind yourself that they come and just let them be.

[Pinguanxious]

Things haven't been that bad latley. I settled in to the tablets quite well. But now it's time to do the work. I spend so long trying to pretend I'm "normal" that I'm not working on the core issues. And that's that I've had a difficult childhood and even teenage years. Maybe not to the extent of others but certainly bullying was a huge part of my life and was always present. Even in primary school I was an outcast. And it got worse right up until I left secondary school at 17. So it's no wonder I have a few issues. But I need to work through them now.

Have you ever thought maybe some people deserve to be bullied. Like there is obviously something wrong with me or it wouldn't have happened so much?

[MyNameIsTerry]

No, I haven't. People deserve respect. The only people saying that about bullying are those with low self esteem in my opinion, like they are accepting life is allowed to be unfair for them BUT what they are forgetting is that they did not ask to be bullied, some nasty spiteful person chose to single someone out and take their problems out on them to make themselves feel better or superior.

Bullies deserve a taste of payback, thats for sure. That doesn't mean I think they should be bullied endlessly, just put in their place so they realise the error of their ways and how they affected others. Thats the thing with bullies, they never pick on anyone who can fight back, they choose their targets carefully.

Something wrong with you in who's eyes? Who has a right to make that decision? And even if they did make that decision, why does it mean it has to lead to bullying to make you feel worse when one option is to do nothing or another to help you?

Thats negative thinking to that you are engaging in there and it's worth catching and changing because it won't help you. Neutralise it or turn it into positives in some way but don't dwell on negatives as they will hold you back.

I'm glad you are feeling a bit brighter and not being hit with side effects. Thats good since you are on a new one. Sertraline is supposed to be mroe for anxiety so who knows, it might help you more?

[Pinguanxious]

I see what u are saying. I think it went on for so long it's like the norm for me.
I am going to change my thinking habits and hopefully cbt and relaxation therapy hekp with that. And I'm lucky with the side effects they only lasted a week. I've got a week off work now so I'm hoping to relax and recoup my energy

[Girl18]

I'm currently sick with strep throat and I noticed my anxiety and my OCD is so much worse when I'm not feeling well. It feels 10x worse than normal.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm currently sick with strep throat and I noticed my anxiety and my OCD is so much worse when I'm not feeling well. It feels 10x worse than normal.

Some viral infections seem to even be the cause of OCD. Strep was one mentioned in children who experience OCD during the infection and then it disappears. So, I wonder whether it spikes us with OCD already?

I've found my anxiety decreases with colds specifically but others say the opposite too. Not sure on strep throat as I've never had it.