Hey all, happy new year and hope all is well.
I've been going through abit of a torrid time, and although I'm handling myself and the problems "better" than I may of previously, I feel a little lost, a little unknown and unsure.
Basically, I'm in the process of starting Fluoxetine, I will have been taking it 2 weeks on Sunday. I had horrid side fx in the first couple of days, now I'd like to say the side effects have gone, but now all I feel like I'm getting is "mental side effects". My OCD seems to be through the roof, literally EVERY thing I do right now I question, or panic about. Most the time I know I need to accept the thoughts and more often than not it works straight away.
But today, whilst on a walk with my mum, we stopped at the bottle bank to get rid of empties left over from Christmas, all of a sudden I DIDN'T want to throw them away. Not quite sure why? I just didn't want to. I mentioned this to my mum before we got there, not to outright plead with her not to chuck em, although I must admit I really wanted to, but mainly just to say "mum, mr OCD has turned up announced".....now my mum has been to one or two therapy sessions where OCD has been the topic, so she understands a fair bit about it, and that colluding with my OCD is a bad thing. So she chucked all the bottles. Now at the time I wasn't crawling the floor or screaming, I was cool. But it's on reflection that I'm worrying and regretting it.
Is this normal? I'm trying to process what is happening, but I don't know if it's just OCD or hoarding or GAD or what. It's as if I have deluded myself into thinking I need to get the bottles back, and it feels like at the moment changing that perspective is impossible :-/
Deep down, knowing that I didn't give in to the urge to take the bottles home is a good thing, but it has made me feel incredibly sh***y. I'm hoping tomorrow I will have forgotten all about it, but basically just wondering if anyone else has been like this, and what I should carry on doing or not do etc. I find its so hard this time of year because I can't just turn up at my therapists or docs cos of the holidays.
Hope that all makes sense, no doubt I've made a couple of spelling errors which I will edit lol any reply is appreciated
Thank you
Sauly