As i've gone along i've noticed some things about anxiety so i thought i'd just write them down if not for you guys also for me if i forget in the future lol.
Irrationality: there's no doubt it's really silly to others and even us sometimes, i'm currently sat here trying to eat some mulligatawny soup, the rice and beef pieces are really small but even in small bitefulls i'm still terrified of choking, and why? because when we avoid things through fear it feeds the fear, and then it gets worse, i remember a time where i could eat something and my brain would say "make sure its small enough it could be dangerous" but the more i ignored it it turned to "ooh the beef is a little chewy despite being tiny it might kill us" the thing i've learned is that when i ignore these thoughts(because lets be honest here they are really really irrational) then sure you kinda have to deal with it going at you but after a while your mind will realize "oh wait maybe this isn't so bad" i like to think of it as an attention seeking child and sometimes you have to put it on the naughty step, i've also learned a couple of things that may help you guys i'm not sure
Reassurance: i know in scary scary situations we just need some help, but think of it as a fire. sure if the flame if is really bad you just any liquid you can find but ultimately you really need something effect like water(which is to learn through your own self), my partner has been gradually cutting down on giving me any and it actually helps so i'd suggest that x
Anxious situations: If you're in a situation where you're feeling anxious(lets say getting on a bus) try and calm and compose yourself, fake confidence if need be. if you give in to the unreliable thought that you're going to say something wrong or stutter and everyone will laugh then you're gonna be more likely to stutter because you're not thinking straight and clear, just breath stay calm and you'll be fine x
as far as a mini update i had my third CBT session yesterday and my therapist told me i actually knew three techniques already i just didn't use them enough(oops) i also apparently have a good positive outlook on life and i'm more than likely going to make a great recovery i haven't googled since October and i went to my first party one new years eve which worked out pretty okay x