Well I guess this will not be a popular answer (from the couple I read) but I am here to tell you that at my age five I had a Near Death Experience (for real) and was warned (and given direction) about my life and its incredible challenge. If not for this NDE, I would not have been at all prepared for what has happened and would, perhaps, not have survived it. I suggest you begin your quest for truth by studying Quantum Physics in its simplest forms. At age 14, you are certainly able to read at an adult level. Douglas Ell has written a book called "Counting to God" that demonstrates in a readable manner how science has now actually proven the existence of God. And, it has. I've studied Quantum Physics for years as a layperson (not a physicist) and it is true: God exists. This book is available on Amazon and can also be purchased as an e book, it is not expensive. A great many people are angered by those who talk about God but, at age 14, you deserve to know, don't you think? Fear nothing.