So we are going to the dog races tommorow night for my girlfriends grandads birthday and everyone will be drinking so no point saying ill stay sober or take it easy because once ive started thats it.im sat here now worried and anxious about how shitty sunday is going to be and the bed ridden anxiety will be back in full force.ive not fully recovered from sunday the last binge i know how awful my day is going to be and ill be back in that dark place again.my anxiety is high anyway so i will drink before we even go to settle me down and then everything gets forgotten about and thrown out the window.my girlfriend understands what im going through and says she can make an excuse to everyone why i cant go but then im anxious about what her family will think of me as they only get together 1nce every few years.before anyone chirps up with'just dont drink'thats never going to happen.why can i not even make an effort to try and control the drinking even by slightly limiting it!after a few pints the anxiety is forgotten along with any fears what the next day will bring.it sounds soft and if you havent gone through this it is absoloute hell.once i woke from a coma unable to walk or talk after a huge brain injury but this alcohol anxiety is much scarier and unrelenting sat there unable to stop my head racing and panicing about absoloutely nothing.i know what is coming and i am still stupid enough to do it what will it take to get through to my thick head!