Hiya Robin... Thank you for replying,

The problem I have is that I am the only driver in the house and we live 4/5 miles from any sort of shop and have no buss service..... last time I had a relapse I had a neighbour who could drive me places and my brother in law lived near too..they could get things for us or take my mum to the shop.. we don't have this this time.

I also need to get back to work which is 15 miles away ..... I work for an after school club and also an after school Nanny sometimes till midnight.... I have already been off for about 5 weeks and my boss is struggling with the child care, she is a single mum.

I LOVE my jobs, missing them so much, I don't want to lose either of them but if I am not back soon then my boss will wave to find someone else and I completely understand that (She hasn't said that, I have) BUT i would hate to lose it and my other job.

So to be honest, not sure how to take it more gradually to get to where I need to be.... maybe my expectations are unrealistic but need my jobs.... haven't had any money coming in for 5 weeks now at all :/ my contract at the school is zero hours so no sick pay from there and the family I look after I do as Self employed.Don't think I can apply for any sort of government help :/
I had to give my fit notes to the school, so I don't have them to claim for it anyway.... Difficult when you aren't getting any money in to test yourself driving as petrol is so expensive. So have to make my journeys count when I do drive :/ :/

Maybe I should start a crowd funding page "Lets get Emma fit again" they seem to use them for so much crap nowadays "please pay for my dog to get plastic surgery" and such like...... ps I am joking and under no circumstances get your dog plastic surgery, it is not big and it isn't clever"



Anyway today The plan was to drive to town and go into Heron Foods to fill the freezer and then put petrol in the car then maybe deliver an xmas present to one of my friends.

What actually happened....

Woke up feeling relatively 'normal' 3/10

DP/DR upped a bit when I went to get dressed 4/10

Drove to town, brain was not too bad really, my DP upped because of the cloudy dull weather, it always does 6/10-8/10


Parked in the centre of town, typically the shop we need to go to is in the middle of town (it is only a small town).... Lots of people around 7/10

walked through town to the shop 7/10

walked round the shop DP/DR peaked at 9/10 but I continued and did it.

Got back to the car and a person had blocked me and another 4 cars in and just left her car! I just wanted to come home. 9/10

Woman finally came back to her after 10 minutes.... moaning that she couldn't park elsewhere as she was picking up something heavy from the market. (there are plenty of parking spaces, it is a big car park. she didn't have to block anyone in!! she could have even parked closer to the market!!) she even got one of the men at the market to carry the stone ornament for her so it didn't bloody matter where she parked!!! She told us we were in the wrong as we were impatient!! and to "don't get on me, where else was I meant to bloody park?!?!?!?"
I resisted the urge to shout at her, but it was close. feeling festive an all that.... NOT!!! but hey at least I got pictures of how she had parked so her car will star on "Bourne Bungle Drivers" this evening .....I never do that but this deserve it lol 8/10 - 9/10

Can finally go get some petrol put some in the car while my mum goes and pays 7/10

Drive home and remember I have to go pick up a repeat prescription before xmas.... bugger!! 7/10

Drive to the drs surgery..... My mum goes in and pays and picks up my prescription.

While I am out I may aswell go an drop off this present to one of my best friends..... I could do with a hug and she only lives 15 minutes off the drs surgery...a bit of a crappy drive but I got there and got a hug and swapped christmas presents. I was only there for 5 minutes.... she suffers too so it was good to see her and get a hug. 7/10 - 9/10


Drive home and my DR increases as it starts raining 9/10

Now I am home and my head is suffering, I am sat here with my DR at about 7 or 8/10 trying to get it to do its worst determined not to let this beat me

fingers crossed that by doing this it settles down this evening.~

Thank you for reading again and thank you for all of your replies..... I am not sure how to do the gradual bit really.... all my simple days seem to turn into really complicated ones.