Just curious... A few years ago you took a break from the forum as your therapy taught you that reassurance seeking was detrimental to your recovery. You went over two years without posting and started again in 2017 and it seems like you're spiraled back down the HA rabbit hole
Whatever you did during those two years must have been working. I don't know if you're still in therapy or taking meds but perhaps it's time for a refresher course?
Positive thoughts