Hi , it was a long time ago for me but after my dad died I didn't really grieve because of problems and secrets he left behind , it was about six months later at Christmas it finally hit me and decided to try antidepressants on the doctors advice , it ended up making me much worse and I pretty much had a breakdown, ok did have a breakdown , that was nearly twenty years ago and I did get better without help or drugs , grief doesn't have a time limit or rules , we all react differently to loss and losing someone close does make you think of your own mortality.
It will pass , take care .