Stag night stress

[phil06]

The door handle hasn't ruined your life YOU have

I bleached the handle but it still doesn’t seem acceptable or clean that’s the issue

[KK77]

And what does your fiancée think about the handle issue, or do you keep thoughts like this to yourself (and several internet forums)?

How will she spend a lifetime coping with your OCD problems? You can't possibly hide these issues forever. They will impact her too at some point if not dealt with. Certainly not a promising start to a marriage.

[phil06]

And what does your fiancée think about the handle issue, or do you keep thoughts like this to yourself (and several internet forums)?

How will she spend a lifetime coping with your OCD problems? You can't possibly hide these issues forever. They will impact her too at some point if not dealt with. Certainly not a promising start to a marriage.

She says my handle issue is stupid but yes she knows she thinks my mum should be more careful with what she touched as I have ocd. My sister is in denial that I have ocd. She thinks because I don’t ocd clean I don’t have ocd?

[KK77]

Perhaps your Stag will be a timely distraction from all this. I think you could make headway but not sure you're willing to put in effort and hard work it will take to pull yourself out of this OCD quagmire.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Well, Terry would know much better than me, or BlueIris......but isn't the point about OCD self-help books that they cover a range of OCD behaviours i.e. the treatment is basically the same for all different OCD types. So, although they don't talk specifically about hand-washing, or checking rituals or contamination - the same methods can be applied to all ?

Maybe someone else will know is a specific contamination OCD book exists ?

Any book on OCD, other than the garbage pumped out by "gurus" which can be nonsense (and Phil does have one of these and I know it's very light on anything OCD because I have read ), is going to cover the basic cyclical relationship of triggers, reactions, obsession-to-compulsion, negative behaviours, etc. You can't explain OCD without it. It should be touching no more common issues that cross anxiety barriers such as core beliefs, rules & assumptions and how to modify them, etc. Perfectionism should be covered as it's a big part of OCD and other obsessive style disorders.

I think Phil is a very literal kind of person who almost needs to see a physical A-B process he can follow. Unless he buys books purely describing his scenarios, which may mean several or not even possible to cover it all, I doubt he will find this. But this is where the therapist can tailor for him, and didn't she do certain things like cards detailing what was a normal range of actions to a scenario?

There are nuances between these themes, and OCD is split into categories of mostly obsession, mostly compulsion or mixed but it's true that the majority works for everything. That's why doctors don't care so much for themes and more for what's underneath them. They know treating a theme doesn't necessarily treat what's underneath.

Contamination books will exist, OCD was always stereotypes as cleaning. Perfectionism most likely will too, books outside of OCD will also talk about obsessional behaviour as it's just an extension of normal personality. Solipsism I think would be out there but not books about it as a theory, books about it in terms of mental health. But a lot of this is going to be repetitive and can be found free online anyway.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I last asked at my psychiatrist appointment a few months back. He knew I was paying for Cbt and was happy for me to keep doing so his advice to cure me was use muscular relaxation breathing on YouTube

Yep, because doctors would happily save their budgets if we all offered to pay

[MyNameIsTerry]

Have you read this?

https://www.ocduk.org/overcoming-ocd...-nhs/scotland/

The secondary care is like our CMHT services. Minimum 12 month wait in my area last time I asked a few years back. Some places won't even accept anxiety patients due to budget cuts and focus on more complex mental disorders which was their original remit.

NHS Scotland needs a good kick up the ar5e over mental health services. I've read their collegiate site before and anxiety doesn't even get a mention.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I actually see him free via the nhs

Yes, but your referral is not about anxiety so there is some concern he is just monitoring why you were referred and reluctant to get involved beyond that as it will cost him to treat you. Your GP could make contact and ask why he isn't helping you with your anxiety.

Others on here at CMHT level have been told they can't have therapy. It's all about budget, those services are prioritising the more complex cases and more immediate concerns. Even down here in some places you could be sectioned due to self harm and within days you are back out in the community with little follow up. We've seen people on here experience this. I'm sure Elen will tell you as I think she knows people who have been through this lack of NHS care?

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes I did contact them but I never progressed as I said was no firm offer of Cbt that was my choice but it wasn’t like I said no do nothing I spend £300 on therapy I spoke about the issues, wrote stuff down, tried exposure therapy however I found it difficult and I never improved. I shall be seeking further Cbt with a new therapist but it’s only a few months until I get my funds in order again. I would say late summer I can afford to see another therapist. But at the moment I am seeking help online and self help to try and help

Why only CBT? There are various ways to treat anxiety. It's free and Venus did all the running to get you to it. Why not at least see what is on offer and try it out? What have you got to lose? That's what we are saying. Don't be fixated on one form of treatment because much of anxiety is about making changes across much of your life from diet to exercise to healthy activities as well as direct work on cycles and resulting behaviours.

I had CBT, it wasn't great. I learnt much more about CBT later and realised mine was greatly stripped down. I've found great help from Mindfulness, I've added supplements that improve my mood cycling issues cause by meds, etc. I've done loads of online researching about anxiety disorders rather than buy repetitive books.

Therapy is a tool in a toolbox, nothing more.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Ah yes but I advice from other forums to clean the the door handle with disinfectant wipes someone on an anxiety chat room even suggested a new door handle but not sure if he was serious

So, the advice was the feed the obsession with compulsions?

Whether to clean something is a question of what someone without anxiety would do. It certainly won't be to replace a door handle in case some germs got on it. Sure, you could disinfect it but it's just not needed and lets remember this is a "what if" scenario anyway.

I think toward people are carrying antibac around more because companies are telling them to buy than they need to use it. This is damaging to people like phil who start to see people who are not suffering anxiety but are overly paranoid about germs.