Increase in anxiety/panic, when I try to relax!

[ankietyjoe]

I think it was my anxious minds interpretation of being 'floaty' that brought it on in the first place.

It's coming in waves, there have been two big ones so far, and I seem to be between waves at the minute. I'm just trying to carry on with my work and let everything come and go, including the thoughts that keep causing it.

Important mental pathway to strengthen right now....

The thoughts are not causing this, your reaction is causing it. This is really important to understand.

You're doing fine and this will pass. Feeling floaty is 'normal' with anxiety.

[ankietyjoe]

I will try and imprint that, and try and get through it.

I think I do actually get most of the theory, largely thanks to your help, which I thank you for.

I'm just struggling to put it in to practice purely because panic attacks and the cognitive symptoms that accompany them are so terrifying to me, that's what I need to get my head around.

That's the important word here (sorry I keep doing it like this, trying to pander to your analytical mind lol).

You can know the theory and still feel like crap, because you need to practice the theory for the new mental pathways to burn in. This is where faith comes into it, that word I used a page or two back. You have to have faith in the process, because it works. What most people find hard is that anxiety demands an immediate fix, and there isn't one. This is about standing back and understanding that what you do and how you react today will be the thing that helps you beat this weeks or months down the line. All of this is hard, so you don't need to keep saying it.

[LittleLionMan]

Haha, we've been talking long enough for you to know how I think! 😂

That is what I mean, I'm desperate to be able to do the right thing to facilitate recovery. I'm desperate to not be so scared, and I'm desperate to be able to stop analysing, and stop freaking out when panic arises, but I'm struggling so hard to actually do it.

Today has been up there with one of the worst days I've ever had, hope has literally drained out of me, to a point where I was nearly in tears before (I never cry) and I'm still sat trying to do my work tolerating it all.

[ankietyjoe]

Have a cry. You'll feel better.

There's really no reason not to.

[pulisa]

Haha, we've been talking long enough for you to know how I think! 

That is what I mean, I'm desperate to be able to do the right thing to facilitate recovery. I'm desperate to not be so scared, and I'm desperate to be able to stop analysing, and stop freaking out when panic arises, but I'm struggling so hard to actually do it.

Today has been up there with one of the worst days I've ever had, hope has literally drained out of me, to a point where I was nearly in tears before (I never cry) and I'm still sat trying to do my work tolerating it all.

"Desperate", "freaking out", "struggling",..I'm not surprised that you are feeling drained. Try to take the emotive words out and think more about lessening the reaction to uncomfortable sensations?

[LittleLionMan]

I know what you are saying, but I can't really describe it any other way?

That is how it's been, anything else would be a lie.
These symptoms aren't 'uncomfortable', they have had me unsure whether to dial 999 or get my mate to find me some kind of mental hospital, that's how bad it's been.

I could pretend they have been a little uncomfortable, but they haven't, and there would be no point in lying like that?

[ankietyjoe]

I know what you are saying, but I can't really describe it any other way?

That is how it's been, anything else would be a lie.
These symptoms aren't 'uncomfortable', they have had me unsure whether to dial 999 or get my mate to find me some kind of mental hospital, that's how bad it's been.

I could pretend they have been a little uncomfortable, but they haven't, and there would be no point in lying like that?

Then just shutup about it?

We all know how you feel, you know how you feel, your therapist knows how you feel, right?

Play the game, see where I'm going with this.....

[LittleLionMan]

OK mate.

Thanks for your help anyway.

[pulisa]

I know what you are saying, but I can't really describe it any other way?

That is how it's been, anything else would be a lie.
These symptoms aren't 'uncomfortable', they have had me unsure whether to dial 999 or get my mate to find me some kind of mental hospital, that's how bad it's been.

I could pretend they have been a little uncomfortable, but they haven't, and there would be no point in lying like that?

NHS psychiatric units are incredibly difficult to get admitted to for panic attacks. Private hospitals cost at least a grand a night if you self-fund. If you go to A&E you will have to wait for hours to see the psychiatric liaison doctor and will get sent home with a handful of self-help pamphlets.

[LittleLionMan]

I know, and I apologise if that came over wrong, it was just me trying to explain how my day has been. I didn't mean to sound dramatic, and I'm not trying to make out my anxiety is special or any worse than anyone else's, I just wish I could view it how you described. I want to be able to just view it as a discomfort that I can tolerate, but I can't.

I know being able to reduce the impact the anxiety has on me, and being able to not be so frightened of it would be the biggest step I could take.