Quote Originally Posted by pulisa View Post
..But it's an additional commitment perhaps? Don't feel bad about thinking that though. The others should pull their weight but you're available and reliable and aren't going to say no..

Mrs F has adopted invalid status and that suits her but is it what you want for her ultimately? It seems a shame that she has chosen to be looked after rather than do her bit to contribute to the running of your home. It doesn't have to be a lot to begin with but just something to lighten the overall load?
You make some good points Pulisa as ever and draw attention to situations I'd rather not deal with. When I first mentioned the option of shielding she was up there in a flash, most people would probably object. She is like her mother in that respect but yes invalid status she has taken on quite readily. But by doing everything I'm enabling her. Though often its easier to just do it rather than have the snide comments.

I remember an instance going back 10 years or more when she asked me to peel her an orange from the kitchen. I suggested she could do that herself so grudgingly she did. However for the rest of the evening and indeed on going to bed, she was still making remarks about that orange. And so I wished I'd just peeled it. My daughter has called it abuse. She used to do more around the house but has used her ailments as a get out clause. But then if I see her struggling and in pain, I feel bad for thinking that in the first place. Ultimately I would like my wife back.