Sorry to hear you've lost your parents too Scass. X
It took me years to come to terms with the loss of my dad too. I was a 'daddy's girl'. I idolised him. Dad was 100% NT but one of those really special human beings who just make everybody feel ok, you know? I could be myself around him and feel loved. We watched the footie together (Liverpool, obvs) and listened to music, and even though my life away from home was beyond terrible; Dad made it all go away while I was with him. He was a very special bloke, and I'm so happy to have been his daughter.
Amongst my mother's things, I came across some cassette tapes from the 70s. My parents used to make tapes for my aunty and grandma who lived down South. I found one of me (as a very young child) singing to Max Bygraves with my dad. Listening to myself is a total cringe-fest but on that tape are Mum and Dad's voices and I can't even describe what it does to my heart, you know? There's also one my Grandma and Grandad made for us one Christmas. Side A to my parents, only Nan forgot to adjust the speed on the record player so Perry Como sounded like Pinky and Perky!
and Side B was to me and my brothers, only Nan forgot to take the pause off, so there's nowt on it.
This reminds me, I really should get those tapes transferred onto digital. I'd hate anything to happen to them...