Stress is horrendus

[WiredIncorrectly]

I'm scared stress is damaging my health.

I can't cope.

The stress is affecting my basic day to day living and nobody gives a **** (the people around me). I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to run into the wall, or punch it. I feel like I'm one step away from exploding.

My head is full of rage. I can't even have a simple conversation with somebody without feeling abnormal anger.

The ex comes around to walk the dogs, and have food. And when she's here I've noticed my stress levels sky rocket. I don't know why. I feel bad for feeling that way. I try my hardest not to feel like this. But I do. And I know she can sense it.

My uncle came yesterday, and today, and I wanted to scream at him to go away. I ended up in the bathroom clutching my head trying to breath. He was talking nonsense about conspiracy stuff and I just wanted him to go. I can't be ****''ed with what is going on in the world when I've no own stress and problems to worry about.

I've never felt like this before. And I have thoughts of not wanting to live. It's a different kind of thought. Like I'm tired of all this and I see no escape. It's a struggle to live at the moment and nobody cares about how I feel.

It's my birthday today, but I'm just lay on my air bed feeling awful, plagued with stress. It's a horrible day. And I can't look forward to tomorrow because it's going to be the same problems. I have no light at the end of the tunnel.

I feel sick, and my anxiety will not let up.

I just want to be on my own, and I want people to leave me alone. Then I will be happy. Is that too much to ask for?

[Carnation]

Birthdays always trigger emotions for me and I think you have to take that into consideration.
Generally people will not know how you are feeling and we get very good at hiding how we really feel.
I love my partner dearly but he does cause me unnecessary stress. He also doesn't know how I feel, what things set me off or know when I need calm and we've been together for 25 years.
Wired, you have to find a way to protect yourself from those hypes of stress and anxiety. Have a 'time out' switch. Go to those things that give you calm like your programmes, your flat improvements, a walk, time with your dog, whatever you need at the time.
Mental conditions are hard because no-one sees them and we fight hard to lead a normal life and most accomplish that.
Take these sort of days and learn from them and when another one comes along you'll know it's just a difficult day and to not put too much emphasis on it.

[WiredIncorrectly]

I've been more anxious recently that the stress I'm going through is going to cause me to die.

I've been feeling rotten physically. Can't even explain it. Like my whole body is lead weight. I keep checking my pulse but it always seems to be normal. It's just this stress don't feel good. I have visions of seeing TV episodes of various kinds, showing people getting stressed out then suddenly having a heart attack.

So I'm convinced that's going to happen to. I have these impending doom feelings where the feelings are so strong that "today is the day something bad will happen".

I hate it when I get in these endless loops but I can't shake it. Not when I'm feeling rotten.

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.

It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.

[Carnation]

How are you doing wired?

[WiredIncorrectly]

I've came back to read old posts. It's useful to remember where I was then, and where I am now.

I remember those stressful times. It was bad. And Carnation, I remember you told me that one day I'll be stress free and will look back on all this. And here I am today. I'm in a better place than I was. I don't want to feel that stress ever again.

[Carnation]

It's good to read your post wired.
There will be times in life sent to try us.
You have to try to remember that it's a phase and not permanent.

[WiredIncorrectly]

I've had a really difficult day today that has set me back.

I've got a home inspection on Wednesday. The lady who visits is quite rude and I complained about her last time because she told me I have to get flooring throughout and paint all the walls. This was January.

I still haven't been able to afford flooring. Which means there's no point in me getting units, storage, shelving etc because it will make it difficult when I can afford the flooring. It will all have to be moved. So all my stuff is in boxes still. My house is very clean, but it's in an undecorated state.

Today I was doing the hallway and I tried to get the sofa out of the small room into the living room. It's been there since I moved in because we had trouble getting it into the living room.

It failed. And as a result there's now a large hole in the plasterboard above the door frame, and my buzzer is broke. The sofa fell onto the buzzer.

I broke down when this happened and started punching myself in the face. I called my ex in tears because it was the straw that broke the camels back.

I've been stripping paint, and preparing walls for a week. Rushing like a mad man so I don't get in trouble for anything Wednesday.

I feel on edge. I can't relax. I feel like my entire life is on hold until this visit. And now I'm even more worried because I have to report the damage that I did.

I'm deflated. I'm in pain. I just want to curl up and not wake up.

I'm in a complete panic that the house won't be up to scratch for her.

To make matters worse my son is self harming and this has put me into a complete panic. I'm struggling so much trying to hold it all together for everyone. I need to be strong for him! Wtf is wrong with me.