Hi again everyone,
I had my recall appointment yesterday. The first nurse I saw took me into a private room, sat me down and said 'there is an abnormality in your right breast' and I burst into tears like an idiot. She was very sympathetic and told me it could be anything totally benign. I then went for the mammogram and it was more painful than the first one as the plates really squashed my breast, but I was appreciative just to have it.
I then went in to see the doctor and the first thing she said was 'well, I think it is a cyst, at least that is what it looks like', and I immediately felt elated, but she wanted to do an ultrasound to check. She started the utrasound and then said 'nope, it isn't a cyst. It looks like a fibroadenoma' and I must admit I was hugely disappointed as I knew a cyst could just be drained and sent for testing.
This is where my anxiety really set in as she then said she wanted to do a biopsy 'just to cover all the bases'. The biopsy was fine. The local anaesthetic needle was the most painful part. She took two core biopsies and booked me in to come back in two weeks time.
Yesterday aftwerwards I was a complete mess. My mind was in overdrive and I could not stop crying. I am fearing the worst with the results and I got myself in such a panicked state that I started looking for private anxiety therapists/counsellors online. I also didn't eat all day. Zero appetite.
I have been trying to keep busy and my mind distracted. The call of Dr. Google is strong, but I am trying not to focus on the biopsy results, but I just keep thinking I will get a bad result. I don't regret going fo the callback as it can't be ignored and as the lovely nurse said to me there, 'there are two things a woman should always do and they are mammograms and cervical smears' and she is right, despite the worry.
Thanks everyone for your kind replies and help. I couldn't stay sane without them. xxx
I am praying for you. Keep thinking that most of the time it is nothing bad, it is most of the time not what we always think it is. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Keep repeating to yourself that the doctor said she believed it was fibroadenoma and they are NOT cancer. They simply are not.
Thank you so much Lana. I really appreciate your prayers and kindness. xxx
Hi Debs, just want to say that I'm so sorry you're going through this. We've all been there, when our anxiety just cripples us.
You've done the right thing getting it checked out and even though the wait in horrendous, you will get there.
And all those thoughts running through your head, you know those really bad ones, just try to remember that that's the anxiety screaming at you. Anxiety will only allow bad thoughts, worst case scenario ones. It actually won't allow our brains to think logically or rationally about anything. It won't allow positive thoughts. If there is a .00001% chance of something being wrong, that's what it will focus on. And it will convince us that that's what is going to happen. It's really mad how it works but it's why so many people, myself included, struggle so much with worry and what if thoughts.
Look after yourself as much as you can while you're waiting xx
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