The Bear Necessities...
Hi everybody...
Another train journey to Swansea from Paddington and back again three days later. Two cabs and a bus...Me with my Australian Backpacker's bag trying to look like Michael Palin (no chance).
Swansea never knew what hit 'em. Neither did I for that matter. Survived it all though. Managed to keep the panic and angst in proportion.
The mp3 player came in handy on the train. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT INTO YOUR MOBILE PHONES and kids should have volume controls fitted as standard...
Nice to see the terrain rolling by. Saw so many isolated farmhouses where I might be able to escape and write my bestseller or paint the masterpiece...oops it's gone. Oh well...maybe another one soon?
OK...I'd done this one before. I had some prior knowledge and to some degree it was like watching a favourite movie again. But surely the best thing to do with a successful endeavour is to repeat it?
So I did.
A few years ago I went on one of those 'Stop The War In Iraq' marches with a friend. We were all walking in the direction of the American Embassy between two lines of metal barriers erected by the Police.
Out of the blue, my friend told me she was having a panic attack. She didn't look any different. No terrified expression. Just slightly hunched and silently gasping for breath. A girl behind us must have heard her because she suggested that we leave the main body of the march and rest in a side street. This is what we did and after a while her attack subsided...
Much later we were taking the tube home and my friend was berating herself as a wimp for being so weak. I tried to point out that the crowded conditions had been responsible and what had happened to her had probably happened to a percentage of other people that day. It was nothing to be ashamed of and I mentioned that I had experienced panic attacks in the past when stressed or when doing something which I had never tried before...
So she said I was a wimp as well!
Friends eh? Sometimes I could kill 'em...
I try not to laugh at or criticise other's when I hear of their struggles against Agoraphobia. Now that it has happened to me, I just feel sad. None of us want these conditions to rule our lives in the way they do and for much of the time, we may have little idea how we came to be like this...
For me, it's frustrating, debilitating and unfair!!! I can accept that many people may not be able to understand what we go through and may resort to cruel , reactionary put-downs or mockery. Perhaps some of us are less sensitive than other's and become unaware of the alarming bodily sensations and sense of terror and disorientation that cause us to become Serial Avoiders?
I would like to believe that the quality of a Society lies in the level of compassion and understanding it has for those who are experiencing vulnerable thoughts, feelings and mental distress of any kind. The higher the better. This is something we would all benefit from.
Phew! Success story? More like an essay!
I'm off the soapbox now (hmm, nice view though)... Lord, I was born a rambling ditherer!
If you did, thanks for reading this.
Take care all...
Reply With Quote
