First things first.. . HUGS Bill.
Everything you have said is right on the mark.
I have or had given up and found it easier and safer to just stay at home.
But being a single mum with two teenage daughters this option was never going to work for me in the long term.
I saw my Psychiatrist today, well actually a new one, as my other one has now moved up north. (Blessing in disguise I think)
This Dr (Stephen) actually asked me questions about my life, in great detail, then after about two hours, he finally told me that yes I had been misdiagnosed my entire life. He fully understood why I was feeling everything was hopeless and also why my symptoms seemed to be getting worse and not better.
The last Psychiatrist who had diagnosed me with depression and ADHD and who had me on the maximum dose of effexor which is a really strong anti-depression med, should have looked further into my life, as I am indeed Bipolar.
ADHD and depression have very similar symptoms, so it is hard to get the diagnoses right. But because of being misdiagnosed the meds I've been taking have actually aggravated my condition. Same as putting an alcoholic on a drip of vodka to cure their alcoholism.
I had dragged myself to see him today, because if I hadn't gone my sister was going to have me put in hospital. So I arrived there with no hope at all at ever getting better, and I told him as much when I saw him.
I'll tell you now though Bill, I'm going to give it another go at leaving this cage, he has given me a ray of hope that I thought was gone forever.
I now have to wean off the effexor - which will take a few months and he's now started me on the right medication.
I actually cooked my first dinner in four months for the girls tonight. They were so happy when they came home from school, that their enthusiasm is spurring me on as well.
I know it's going to be a long hard road, because coming off the effexor has dangerous side effects, but I'm sure with a Dr who seems to understand (he even gave me a number to reach him on, if the going gets tough) plus the girls and you guys I'm going to beat this, once and for all.
You are so right when you say 'the right therapist', because until I'd met Stephen I had honestly given up.
I will take you up on the offer of support and advise though, as the next few weeks are going to be tough ones for me.
Love and Kisses
Sarajane
xxxxx