Ok Karen. Is there absolutely nothing else in life that makes you happy? (btw please don't think I'm being judgemental, cause I'm not). Do you work? If so, do you like your job? Do you get on with your family? Do you have holidays? Do you like where you live? Do you have nice neighbours? Is there a man in your life? If not, is there anyone you fancy? Do you see where I'm going with this? Apart from anxiety, depression and ed, do you have any physical illnesses?
Now I'm not gonna say that there are people so much worse off than you, 'cause that isn't going to help. I personally feel like punching ppl when they tell me that! However, if there is anything at all that could make you happy, or is making you happy, could you focus on that rather than your eating habits?
Look, I know nothing about this illness, but I feel compelled for some reason to try & help you. You need distraction Karen, I see (& don't take offense) that you are entirely focused on yourself. I noted in one of your posts that you said you had been coming to nmp for about 4 years. Do you answer other ppls posts when they are crying out for help? You also suffer anxiety & depression, do you try to help other ppl on here? I reckon you could be of help to other ppl, knowing what it's like, right? From my own personal experiences, I know that I can get bogged down so much with how I'm feeling, to the point where I don't realise that other ppl are hurting just as bad. And when that happens I come on here and try to help where I can.
I can name about 30 things that would make me happy, are you really saying that being thin is the ONLY thing that makes you happy? Do you think that's why you were put on this earth? Because I don't. There is more to you than your body, there is your mind, and your heart and soul, your personality, your spirit, your courage, your strength.
Please don't just read this and throw it away, think about it I can tell from your posts that you have a big personality, you're very articulate and you have a lot to give the world and the ppl in it, but you have to stop focusing all the time on yourself, and channel that energy onto other ppl.
I'm not apologising for the long post, I have thought long & hard about your situation.
I hope that you take on board some of the things I have said Karen, and good luck. Take care.
Elspeth