Re: Why am I so bothered??
I am not sure it's quite as simple as Donna makes out.
When two people of opposite sexes (or even of the same sex ) are emotionally vulnerable, it can be difficult for them to stay friends without deeper needs starting to take over, whether on one side or both sides.
If this guy was saying he was losing the will to live, it sounds as though he was very needy, and maybe was starting to see you as a lifeline. You say you were flattered by his attention: I'd guess that he also felt flattered by yours. As insecure people tend to do, perhaps he interpreted your friendliness as something more than you intended, and when you backed off a little (which I assume you did if you had no interest in him romantically), he felt rejected and angry.
I'm not excusing his behaviour, but people are complicated. I've had experience of getting too attached to other people, and of other people get too attached to me, and when love (or what we think is love, but may just be neediness) is thwarted, anger often fills the gap.
It's easy to be flattered by a member of the opposite sex giving you attention, but often they expect something in return, without saying it, and perhaps without admitting it to themselves.
Last year I lost touch with a female friend who also suffered from anxiety. We'd been supporting each other and she ended up coming on strong to me, as it were. I was flattered by her attention and ended up falling in love with her - a situation which, I think it's accurate to say, she didn't exactly discourage. But then she backed off, and if I'm honest I totally lost my marbles: I felt sick in the stomach and crushed by despair and anger. I will be honest and admit I sent her a couple of pretty nasty text messages. I don't say I was right to do that but we all know that when we're emotionally instable we do all sorts of things that aren't right.
Clearly you didn't go as far as my friend did in encouraging his hopes, but you need to be careful in situations where you or the other person are emotionally vulnerable. You might have been best off just stopping the friendship completely when he started getting heavy - that was a clear sign that he wanted the relationship to be something it could never be, and one-sided relationships are usually doomed.
__________________
Fear's a dangerous thing,
It will turn your heart black, you can trust.
It'll take your God-filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust.
- Bruce Springsteen