Re: Obsessive fear of losing loved ones
Holy moly. I am like this. I am very very VERY dependable on my mum. I actually feel my eyes well up as I type this. I lie in bed at night and actually lose my breath at the thought that my mum could die in her lseep and that would be the end or other horrible things.
That;s when I get rather suicidal sometimes.. I sometimes think it woul dbe easier(cowardly maybe) to kill myself then wouldnt have the pain of losing either of my parents..but then I think that is selfish and they would bare the grief of losing their only daughter.
God I'm crying now. My mother is 60 19th of this month..not long..and my father is 67,I'm only 22...they had me late ron in life and I always remember thinking "why are they older?" as a child but I wouldnt change them for the world and as has been said before..it WILL happen but I just get so unbelievably nautious and ill and worked up at the fact that I will be all alone and not know how to cope..I really wont. I sometimes get quite bad ocd thoughts in that I have to do something or say something etc or else "something bad will happen to my mum or dad" and it's worse some days than others..I've gotten to the point sometimes I phsyically shake my head and tell myself to shut up out loud.I must look crazy.
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*Your eyes are crying the tears of an angel..your heart is breaking by the work of a devil*