I have just had dad on the phone for an hour talking to me about the split with my stepmum. He seems convinced she has left him for someone else and even though he tells a similar story to the one my stepmum told me, he doesn't see that the way he acted was in any way controlling.
I can't go into all the details here but he has said he needs me to be here for him. He said he was going to wait to tell about the split until Saturday when my brother comes down, but he is so depressed and lonely that he had to talk to someone. He said he isn't eating and has been talking about the hundreds of epilepsy tablets he has got in the house. Apparently he threatened my stepmum today that he would take them all because if she doesn't go back to him. She apparently replied that if she ever went back it wouldn't be for love.
He continually told me how depressed and devastated he is, and that he isn't bothering to look after himself and that taking all his tablets would end his suffering. I know I have said similar things myself and have felt this way, although I have never said it to him. Obviously I am upset that he is so unhappy and I wish none of this was happening, but I can't help but think of all the hurtful things he has said to me in the past just because I have suffered from depression and have been suicidal, and yet now he is telling me he is feeling that way and that he needs me to be here for him.
He also asked me to reassure him that I am "dealing with my weight "because "he has enough of his own worries to deal with at the moment without worrying about me" and then he said "and I need you to be here to help me through this". What am I supposed to say to that?
He also told me something my stepmum is supposed to have said about me and my brothers that really hurts but I am not sure who to believe now and whether he is telling me the truth.
I can see these phone calls becoming a regular occurence because he said he needs me to be there for him and he is so lonely in the house on his own. I don't want to let him down but I don't think I can take on his problems on top of all my own issues.
How do I cope with all of this?
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.