Hey,
Well basically, I used to suffer quite badly from anxiety etc. but I'm pretty much on the mend now. I can deal with it the majority of the time and don't really have panic attacks or anything like that anymore. I'm even at uni. now which is nice.
But I have a problem which is... I recently entered a dance comp. with my university - I am in the university dance team. Anyway, we were doing tap and the floor was really slippy and I slid over. It was so horrible, in front of 500 + people! Well, I got up quickly and carried on as if nothing had happened and we still placed third but now we're entering another comp. and I am so scared it'll happen again. Like really terrified. Because I've been thinking - everyone was really nice and understanding last time but if I fell over again they'd think I was just a weirdo who couldn't even stand up on her own two feet! And I know I'm in a pretty negative thought cycle right now but I just hate the pressure of it. I don't know how I'm going to cope with it really because I'm scared the more I think about it and the more I worry about it - the more likely it is to happen. I don't know whether to drop out of the comp. but then I'd feel like I was letting everyone down and there's the whole, get back on a horse after you've fallen off! But I really don't know what to do. I'm so scared and I know exactly how I'll feel the night before and when I'm getting on stage. I really don't know what to do. It's really getting me down and it's makng me stress out about everything else... like anxiety tends to do. I have five assignments to do before the end of term and I feel a but out of control and unorganised. I know that a stupid dance shouldn't make you feel this way but I'm one of these people who hates letting people down and I've just got it into my head that I'll probably fall over again and ruin it for everyone and make a massive, massive fool of myself and have to leave the dance team forever. It's literally the last thing I think about every night and I shouldn't be getting so obsessive over it. I know that it's good to tackle a problem like this head-on and I should do the comp. but I can't help but want to run away. Even though I know that if I do I'll regret it and won't ever feel comfortable performing on stage again. I'm feeling so irrational and upset and just a bit hysterical, lol.
Sorry if this is a silly problem. I just hate feeling this way.
I'd love some advice or a chat please.