hello my name's kev aka grumpysodkev. i have had depression on an off since i was 21 when tried to commit suicide. i am now 40 this year and undergoing cbt which helps it has been difficult over the last few years. i am happily married to the most important person in the world to me. however she suffers from my terrible moods, (not violent in any way) and this hurts me, i would be lost without her, but don't often show it. i have done 12 years ambulance work and the last nine spent as a search and rescue officer for the coastguard. i have two police commendations for bravery, but have been so grumpy, and that's what my nickname is, so much so that i have a tattoo of grumpy on my left shoulder. i am slowly getting over this at the moment, but i know the signs and can tell when a bad time is imminent. if anyone want's to talk about my experiences in life then please reply.