Day 2:
Ok im in the middle of day 2 so I thought I better say how im getting on so far.
As I am still not up for driving I decided to get up bright and early at 7 to grab a lift with my BF to my mums as he drives past it on the way to work. Thought this would be good rather than being on my own whilst im trying to "get back with it". I dont like the thought of having a "minder" and I know I cant rely on it long term but maybe it will make me happy enough to be able to turn my life around short term!
It hasnt been a very productive day - the weather has been crap so me and mum ended up staying in, and all I have done is chill, watch a bit of TV and been on my laptop. But I havnt really felt that anxious and I havnt had a panic attack so far but I havnt been anywhere to have one- However Im kinda sat here feeling not that much emotion - I havnt cried - So im taking that as a positive step
but i dont really feel happy! Just kinda like when you wake up 1st thing and are sleepy and stuff. But again staying on my positive note: this is better than being upset!
I hope im not droning on too much - and this is helpful to some - as Im trying to stay positive and uplifted and maybe when I get better (cuz it will happen) it may motivate some others!
Anyways im waiting for my BF to pick me up in a sec and im going back home where I will be alone for around 3 hours so we will see how that goes.
The momentum im taking out of my Claire Weeks Book today (self help for your nerves) is:
"There must be no self-pity. And this means NO self-pity. There must be no dramatisation of self in this 'terrible state'. No thinking of how little the family understands, how little they realise this ghastly suffering is. Self-pity wastes strength and time and frightens away those who would otherwise help you. If you are honest with yourself you would admit that some of your self-pity is pride: pride that you have withstood so much for so long."